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Tongue Mountain Sasquatch

3 Apr

Bumbles bounce

A friend and I decided late one afternoon to take a little hike.  We had been talking the talk all day, discussing our love for the outdoors and how badly we craved the smell of rotting leaves and the other processes of nature.  Eventually our discussion drove us to action and we were in a car, driving North towards Whitehall, NY.  We had looked up the trail on the internet before leaving, it was 1.5 miles (one way) to a small pond.  The ascent was gradual and by all accounts it should have been an uneventful if not boring evening.

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Tremors: The Greatest Movie Series Everyone Has Either Never Heard Of Or Thinks Is Dumb as Shit .

27 Nov

Listen, I don’t throw words like “boner-inducing” and “the fucking best” around all willy-nilly-like.  I take the garbage that I spew forth from my talk-hole very serious.  My word is my bond, my word is my James Bond.  So when I tell you that each and every single movie in the Tremors series will make your dick hard (you too, ladies) and will literally be the beacon of light in your life that you have always longed for, you should probably believe me.  Or don’t…and see what happens to you.  That wasn’t a threat, nothing at all may happen to you…we’ll just have to see. Continue reading

Pog-Monsters: Namibia holding onto monopoly of fucked-up animals.

21 Nov

Somehow or another, Ive found myself trolling the internet for stories about monsters.  This is another gem of an article out of the wonderful land of terror and inter-specie  breeding known as Namibia.  Apparently a “Dog-headed Pig Monster” has been seen terrorizing the beautiful Southwest African country.  Villagers say they know the creature is in their midst when every dog in the village becomes agitated (typically at night), and despite the fact that there have been no reported human attacks, villagers are traveling in groups and arming themselves whenever possible.  Continue reading

Namibian Blood Koala

20 Nov

He was a low ranking member of the Blood Koalas. You can tell because of the lack of tattoos.

It’s no secret I believe in Bigfoot, Sasquatch and any other name for large ape-like creatures roaming the World.  I love the things.  I have personally witnessed the beast toss a small tree over my head and onto the trail before me.  I kept my calm and sprinted, arms in the air, screaming like a banshee back to my car.  That said, I don’t think I necessarily have a positive bias towards believing in every strange occurrence I read about on the internet.  No, sir, I am skeptical and scientific.  I think using my brain, and pump blood with my heart…or some shit like that.  Bottom line is, it’s through my unbiased and completely logic-based reasoning that leads me to believe that this is the single greatest scientific discovery in the history of Namibia. Continue reading

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