DeAndre Hopkins or Bust: Follow Up.

22 Apr

This particular hotel bathroom was destroyed by a stubborn dingle-berry and a man living too close to his edge.

According to the Lamestream media (which is to say everyone and everything) two participants in this year’s combine trashed a hotel room so thoroughly and repulsively that few details have been given.  Eventually it was released that the participants had apparently left the  hotel bathroom covered in piss and fecal matter.  As if they had a food fight, except instead of food they used shit and piss…naturally, teams are concerned about what such behavior may say about an individual.  Breaths were held as we all waited to hear who the animals behind this mayhem were…DeAndre Hopkins and some dude named Harrison from Rutgers.  My dreams dissipated into the air, the scene went dark, my heart laid in the soles of my feet.  After-all, I had just written a post about how much I loved the kid.  I’ll never be able to look the three people who read that post in the eye.  They, no doubt have lost faith in my character judgement.  I have failed them as Hopkins had failed me.  A depressing circle jerk of failure…

But, alas, are we all being a bit dramatic?  Even immature? So the dude may or may not have shat and pissed all over the Hotel bathroom.   Maybe he was break dancing, nude, on the bathroom floor when the unthinkable occurred.  Too embarrassed and convinced his story would be unbelievable, he does what any scared 20 year old would do…fucking bolts and hopes to L. Ron Hubbard that the whole thing goes away.  We do wild things when we’re young and last time I checked, nude breakdancing isn’t a crime.

Or, lets just throw this Harrison kid under the piss and shit bus.  Never heard of the guy. Certainly not going to be an asset to the Bills and therefor undeserving of my suspended judgement.  Hopkins on the other hand has the potential to be a phenom…therefor he could not have done it, or if he did, it was not malicious or even evidence of poor judgement. Most likely a horrible misunderstanding and a belated Crones diagnosis at the worst…I base these assertions on nothing but the cosmic vibrations I pick up through ultra-sensitive whiskers protruding from my cheeks.  They’re usually pretty accurate.

I stand by my pick. I want DeAndre Hopkins on the Bills.  I want his bathrooms covered in plastic to avoid any more embarrassing media moments.  I want him to catch 70 passes for 976 yards and 7 TDs as a rookie.  As it is said, so shall it be done.


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