The Quitters Dream Book—Entry 1

29 Jan
The Asshole apparently haunts your dreams if you quit cigarettes

This asshole apparently haunts your dreams if you quit cigarettes

My freind recently quit smoking cigs and has been having some wild dreams.  We decided to record those dreams.  Below is a glimpse into the unconscious mind of a man quitting Cigs.  And later on, I will judge the mental stability of this man based on his dreams, my questions and my years of expertise as a dream reader.

The Day of the Sheepbull

The dream began with our subject looking down his familiar neighborhood street towards the hill.  It is the same view he experiences everyday coming home from work.   It was a beautiful, sunny, Upstate New York afternoon.  As is usually the case in his dreams,  he is standing in the middle of the street.  He is with his friend, Jimmy Knowles.  The rest of the popular suburban neighborhood appears to be vacant.  No cars are passing by and no children are playing outside.  It is a known fact during the dream that Jimmy lives in the neighborhood, when in reality, he doesn’t.  They’re walking around the hood when eventually they reach some foreign spot in the neighborhood our subject has never been to before.  He is surprised by this, even in the dream, as he has lived in this neighborhood his entire life and couldn’t have imagined there being areas that have gone unexplored. Jimmy suggests they take a shortcut to his house.   The short-cut is a street that the subject, again, has never seen before.  It is your average suburban street with single and two story ranch houses in neutral colors with well-kept lawns and two car garages.  The street looks the same as every other street in the neighborhood, besides one detail…

This street is packed to the gills with farm animals.  A normal suburban neighborhood street, with tons and tons of boars and bulls and cows and goats and sheep.  In the dream, this was all OK.  They make their way to Knowles’ house and as soon as they step on the street, all the animals scatter, they fear the two boys tremendously, or at least have some kind of respect whereas it is known to clear the streets in their presence.  They get to Jims house and smoke pot which the subject remembers fondly.  The house is filled with people the subject knew from way back in the day.  We’re talking  teachers, friends’ parents and old family friends; people the subject hadn’t seen, in some instances, in decades.  The one cameo that stood out to the subject the most was his kindergarten teacher and the fact that in his dream, he remembered exactly what she looked like which is a feat unfathomable whilst conscious.

The subject leaves Jimmy’s house, and figures he should definitely take that Cattle Road back home since it worked so well the first time. He is alone now, however.  As he take a few steps he notices none of the animals were moving this time.  The mangy hunks of meat loitered in the subject’s way and displayed none of the same respect they had so recently shown the two men together.  They had also seemed to have grown larger and more intimating than previously.  The subject was hesitant to continue but there was now a large crowd outside of Knowles’ house watching him as he departed.  These were respected elders, our hero could not be seen as a pussy by his kindergarten teacher. None of these guests  seemed nervous in the least.  They simply watched, borderline disinterested.

He decided it would be best to make a deep clap to scare the animals away.  He spread his arms wide and summoning all his strength brought his palms together, careful to form cups with his palms to create a thunderous noise.  The clap was loud and virile, the farm animals proceeded to clear the neighborhood. All the animals and all the people who had congregated outside of Knowles’ house  ran for cover,  it grew eerily quiet and our subject noticed one straggler.  A single sheep…a sheep with horns.  It was a sheep bull, and it did not fear the clap.  The subject remembers a feeling of dread-laced terror upon locking eyes with the Sheepbull.

(Reader:  What you’re describing is a ram!!  Subject and I:  It wasn’t your dream, we say twas a Sheepbull)

The subject took off and soon realized his legs were nearly useless.  The Sheepbull was surprisingly cumbersome and slow but the scared man’s sloppy legs were still causing him to lose ground fast. He was shocked at how slow the murderous monster was.  He could barely move and this thing was only slightly gaining ground.  The subject was pondering this when before he knew it he was pinned between the sidewalk and the street, on a small patch of grass.  The pillow-soft killing machine was on top of him.  Out of desperation he grabbed the Sheepbull by the horns, as he had been told to do so many times (in so many words) and thrashed around with the beast for what felt like hours.  They were of similar strength, although the enraged ram consistently one-upped his victim.  The subject could manage to defend himself but was unable to gain an advantage of any kind.  The Sheep-bull was just slightly stronger than he, just as it was only slightly faster.  And yet the fear was so, so far from mutual.

The subject hit the savage animal on the top of the head which made it stop and glare into his soul.  The world stopped, the stare was oppressive.  Suddenly he made a guttural noise that sounded most similar to a large-block American muscle car… The strange growl seemed to build like a tidal wave and soon the power coming from the sheepbull was beyond decibels, the vibrations running up the subjects feet and up his spine.  He remembers indescribable terror.

He began sprinting towards his house in the familiar neighborhood and notice the windows to his parents’ home were open.  Fearing the Sheepbull would gore him at any second, he began screaming for his parents to help.  No one came to the windows, so he kept running back and forth screaming for help, never actually trying to enter his own house. Eventually he decided to run to the neighbors where children were now playing in the front yard. In waking life he knew each of the kids as flag football players he had refereed.  The only kid he remembers specifically was a below average, kind of “Meh” boy that the subject saw often playing outside alone.  Back in the dream the Subject was losing ground faster than ever and was anticipating death, when the Meh-kid, came out of fucking nowhere and booted the cantankerous Ram back to Old McDonalds farm.  the subject was speechless and lay panting in the middle of the road, looking up at the boy.

Suddenly, the boy’s mom showed up on the porch and yelled to her children, “quit playing with that Creepy, Old  Weirdo!”  The subject was right there, but she never addressed him, only scolded her children for saving his life.  He felt ashamed and bewildered that she had automatically assumed he was some creep, the Subject couldn’t even thank the kid for slaying the Sheepbull.

He awoke covered in sweat with an inprint of his dome on the pillow.  The subject got up, washed his sheets and didn’t smoke a cig.

Post Dream Analysis:

Did you fall asleep early or late?

First day of the patch, fell asleep early and woke up at 3am and couldnt get back to sleep.

How did you feel when you went to bed?

I was feeling optimistic but I was really pissed cause it was my first day without cigs and I was thinking about all the things I couldnt do.  I was pissed about that.

Did cigs make an appearance?

No, not at all.

What was the general feeling during the dream?

In the beginning everything was fine, smoking weed with Jimbo and a bunch of people from my past.  But once I was by myself things drastically changed.  Went from pretty exciting to way too heavy.  When the Sheepbull was “revving” at me, it was something Id rather not do again.

Would you say you were a hero villain or spectator?

No, I felt like an outcast, like the kid that couldnt do anything right.  The fact that my parents didnt help me and that the kids mom called me a creepy asshole and when the sheepbull caught me I felt so helpless and exhausted.

No memorable media influences.

Do you feel that anything could be learned from the dream?

(Laughter)  If you have a road mysteriously appear in your neighborhood, dont go down that road.  its full of sheepbull.

Would you classify this dream as a nightmare?

No because I didnt wake up scared or worried.  it just made me think.  More of a bizarre dream, and the first half was all peaches and herb.

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2 Responses to “The Quitters Dream Book—Entry 1”

  1. Claire January 29, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

    You should keep a diary of someone taking malaria tablets, they are fucked up dreams, nice post 🙂

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