Pog-Monsters: Namibia holding onto monopoly of fucked-up animals.

21 Nov

Somehow or another, Ive found myself trolling the internet for stories about monsters.  This is another gem of an article out of the wonderful land of terror and inter-specie  breeding known as Namibia.  Apparently a “Dog-headed Pig Monster” has been seen terrorizing the beautiful Southwest African country.  Villagers say they know the creature is in their midst when every dog in the village becomes agitated (typically at night), and despite the fact that there have been no reported human attacks, villagers are traveling in groups and arming themselves whenever possible. 

When I began this blog, I didn’t expect to focus on Namibia.  Hell, I would have argued that it was spelled and pronounced Nambia.  I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions of the world and the events that affect me.  I wanted anybody who cared enough to click on my link, to be able to get a feel for who I am and what I want to do with my time on this planet.  Maybe someone would learn something, maybe I could just evoke a quick cackle…I never expected the Blood Koala and the Dog-Faced Pig-Monster.  Who could have predicted the two biggest news stories circulating around the planet were both going to come from Namibia.  Not I, said the fly.

I think it’s pretty clear what’s happening here.  If it wasn’t obvious by the floppy eared Blood Koala and it’s striking resemblance to a rabbit, then this Pig-Dog should shed a flood light on this situation.  Namibia has a Dr. Moreau.  Someone in the jungles of Namibia is creating animal-human hybrids and animal-animal hybrids.  Hence the Rabbit-Koala and now the Dog -Pig.

“This is an alien animal that the people have not seen before. We don’t have a forest here, only bushes. So, this must be black magic at play.”–A Namibian official.  Of course this is Black Magic, nature hates this kind of shit.  Nature made pigs and dogs, only men and sorcerers would make pig-dogs.

Villagers believe the creature is the doings of a sorcerer with gray hair; an incarnation of black magic and a harbinger of senseless violence.  I personally couldn’t agree more.  I fear pigs.  I’ll make no bones about it.  They strike me as far too human.  They can grow hair and become wild in a matter of 6 months despite generations of domestication.  Adaptation like that is fucking dangerous.  If the Blood Koalas don’t overtake our species, then pigs just may.  But what was the one thing holding pigs back?  Their lack of dog-like qualities.  Somebody obviously figured this out before I could get this blog written and took it upon themselves to breed the most intelligent pig in Namibia with the most vicious dog in the neighboring country of Botswana.  Resulting in the Namibian Pog-Monster, as I have just declared it.

We can do nothing now but hope the Blood Koalas and Pog-Monsters never come together against us, and perhaps, if we are lucky, they will turn on each other and Mankind will not have to do a goddamn thing.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46548769/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/weird-dog-headed-pig-monster-terrorizes-africa/#.UKz4O-9CLIU

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